Some dads get a tie or breakfast in bed, but for writer and artist Stuart Sheldon, the perfect Father’s Day gift was a vasectomy.“I certainly (didn’t) want another child,” he writes on his website. “We all fit in a car so nicely. And birth control. No more, be careful, I’m ovulating. No more anything other than sex whenever.”
Sheldon came to the decision—with help from his wife—who told him one day after the birth of their second child that he needed to take one for the team. “I think I want you to get snipped,” she told him, “because my body cannot deal with the pill anymore and frankly, I don’t want to think about another child.”
Considering everything his wife had been through during the two pregnancies and deliveries, Sheldon says that taking over the birth-control department in their marriage was the least he could do because “she’s beyond worth it.”
Guy Adams, papa of three, came to the same conclusion when a newborn was stealing his sleep each night. “Having watched (my wife) endure the rigors of pregnancy and childbirth a hat-trick of times in the seven years we’ve been married, it was time to make a formal declaration that our lovely, but extremely lively, brood was complete.”
But even though logic dictated the decision to get a vasectomy after everything his wife had been through, Adams still got spooked every time his friends joked about him getting “neutered.” “But reason and logic go out of the window when a man’s crown jewels are being tinkered with,” he says.
Eventually, Adams went through the 15-minute office procedure and, after some minor swelling down there for a few days, was back to normal. Ten days later, he reports, he even managed to sneak in a game of tennis.
Can a vasectomy make you a better dad?
It may seem counterintuitive, but a vasectomy can not only make you a better father, but it also might help improve your marriage as well:
Less stress: Let’s face it: being a parent is stressful. You’ve got to teach them to sleep when the sun goes down and how to poop on the potty. And then there’s the money part—kids are expensive. In fact, according to a report released by the Department of Agriculture last year, a kid will cost you between $12,350 and nearly $14,000 a year. That could really make you think twice when you start to do the math and compare the cost of a child to the cost of getting a vasectomy (usually $500-$1,000). We’re no math wizards but can figure out that the answer to the word problem is: getting snipped is way cheaper.
Focus on the kids you’ve already got: Between work, your marriage, other kids and Facebook, you’ve got a lot of things vying for your attention. Now, imagine throwing another person into the mix. When you decide you’re ready to cap your baby-making, you can give all those attention grabbers (except maybe Facebook) more of you. And you might even find a way to carve out a little “me time” as well.
We’d like to introduce you to your wife: You’ve heard it before: the secret to a happy marriage is to put your spouse first. But that’s often easier said than done when you throw kids into the mix. Add a newborn and you’re definitely going to the bottom of your wife’s attention-totem-pole for at least another year.
But will it fit in a gift bag?
The downside of getting a vasectomy for Father’s Day (or any other day of the year) is that you’ve got to wait a little while to benefit from it. For the first week or two, you won’t be able (and probably won’t want) to have sex while the incision sites heal and swelling subsides.
Then, birth control will still be necessary for the next three months (an average of 20 ejaculations) as you flush any remaining sperm out of your system. To eliminate the guesswork—and an unwanted pregnancy—pick up SpermCheck, a sperm- count kit you can do at home that provides results in about 10 minutes.
But even though sperm won’t be able to make their way to the urethra, you’ll still have semen when you ejaculate, so pretty much, you—and your partner—won’t even notice the difference.
The only thing you will notice is the relief you feel not having to worry about an unplanned pregnancy.
And that’s the best gift of all.
