Sometimes when we are trying to conceive we can feel panic. Maybe it’s the results of a test. Or maybe we were sure that we were pregnant this month and we got our period anyway. Maybe, we even got a positive pregnancy test, and we are seeing signs of bleeding. Feelings of anxiety and overwhelming sadness and panic can literally take our breath away.
The thing about these feelings, is that they can actually be supportive to us even if they are uncomfortable. They may make us call our doctors for help. These feeling may encourage us to reach out to friends, fertility coaches, and therapists for support. They can also encourage us to do something different. Sometimes, the feelings of panic, sadness, and fear move us into action.
These feelings are not necessarily bad things. But they can be really uncomfortable. So, this tip blog is not to tell you not to feel these feelings. Feeling these feelings may be really important. What this tip blog is hoping to do, is give you some thoughts about how to cope with these feelings in the most compassionate way that you can with yourself.
Tips For Coping with Fertility Panic:
- When we have feelings of panic, fear or deep sadness the first thing that most of us do is stop breathing. So my biggest tip is BREATHE! Check out this article on WebMD for wonderful exercises on deep breathing and why it works! http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-breathing-exercises-for-relaxation.
- Close your eyes and think of your support system. Take three clearing breaths. And then lift the phone and start reaching out. Maybe you need medical answers. It may be time to get a second opinion. Call in the troops. This is the time to surround yourself with people who love you and will support you.
- Eat and drink something. Sometimes, have something to eat and drink can be very grounding and calming. Try a calming tea blend. Keep them in the house!
- Cancel what you do not have to do. Make room for baby making! Sometimes, it is stressful. Cancel your regular day if you need to and go for a walk. A gentle walk can bring down feelings of stress and panic.
- Take your mind away from the panic. It’s okay to distract yourself with television or reading a book. Take a break from the panic after you have done whatever needs to be done around it. Go shop! Cook a great meal. Take a calming bath. Do something to help yourself take the focus off of the panic.
My favorite saying about emotions is that it changes like the weather in San Francisco. Just wait five minutes. Panic, fear, sadness all come and go. Allow yourself to float with it knowing that these very uncomfortable feelings will fade a bit. Be compassionate to yourself. Remember panic can be our friend. It can point us in the right direction, create a change, or put us on alert. And then we need to learn how to ride the wave so that we can land safely.
|Pamela Madsen was the first Executive Director of RESOLVE NYC and is the Founder of The American Fertility Association. Pamela is an internationally known fertility advocate who has appeared on Oprah and countless other major media outlets. Currently, Pamela is a fertility coach and publisher of The Fertility Advocate. She is also a blogger for Psychology Today and SpermCheck Fertility.|